Cilest pill and positive mood

I really like this pill. I've been taking it since I was 16 (except for 18 months on the implant) and I can't complain. It keeps my skin in check and helps with my endometriosis pains.

I was originally prescribed Cilest at the age of 15, as a last resort solution to help clear my severe acne, as well as help with my heavy, long, painful periods. Despite the odd little breakout / redness, my skin cleared up and I was literally able to enjoy my life for 15 years whilst on Cilest, without having lumpy, sore, red, inflamed, infected skin (which is what I've got now). My periods were also much lighter and less painful in comparison to my teenage years / since coming off Cilest. I was taking Cilest consistently for 15 years, and only stopped when my doctor refused to continue prescribing, once I had surpassed the "safe" BMI limit of 35. I saw multiple GPs, begged and pleaded, even insisting I would sign a document for my records to state I would not hold the practice / practitioner responsible if I suffered any consequences such as blood clots if they continued to prescribe Cilest. Still no joy. Alternative contraceptives have been unsuitable, and I'm truly unhappy that I'm no longer able to take Cilest. Since coming off Cilest, my skin is horrific; constantly spotty, acne, red, lumpy, inflamed all over my face and neck, I'm even getting spots on my back again - not the thing I wanted to relive from my teenage years! Since coming off Cilest, my periods are agonising, heavy, and last for 7 days. I have gained weight, my mood is unstable and sex drive is non-existant (however, these latter three may be a result of changing anti-depressant medication, but we'll never know). I was diagnosed with hyperhidrosis maybe 10 years after taking Cilest, but never once was the link made between the two, despite multiple doctors / specialist / dermatologist referrals. My hyperhidrosis was always linked to my anti-depressant medication (Citalopram sweats are a "thing" apparently), but I still believe I'm naturally sweaty without Cilest. Similarly, I'm generally a hairy person, or have been for as long as I can remember, so possibly not a direct side effect of Cilest. Possibly have PCOS. I've suffered with vaginal discharge for as long as I can remember, so it's difficult to say whether it's a direct result of Cilest or just genetic / something I'm prone too. I've tried all sorts of medication, and even had surgeries to treat this discharge / cervical ectopy. It's difficult to ignore the fact that since coming off Cilest, however, I've had significantly less discharge, to the extent where I no longer feel the need to wear pantyliners EVERY. SINGLE. DAY (which was the norm for 15 years).

This was the perfect pill for me. Gutted it was discontinued. always had short light periods, no weight change, if anything I got less PMS so my moods were improved, absolutely clockwork cycle. Perhaps there was a small chance sex drive was suppressed slightly but it never affected my relationship. Have now had to switch to Cilique which is meant to be the same but after 5 months of taking it my mood has never been so low. I feel suicidal and extremely sad every month before my period and I get so cranky about the smallest things which would never usually bother me. I'm usually a really positive and optimistic person (and Cilest never affected that) but on this Cilique pill it's like I want the world to burn! I also get terribly bloated and uncomfortable during the final week of pills and feel like I've gained 100lbs (even though I haven't actually gained any weight). My sex drive is also now absolutely non existent. I know I need to switch to something else but anxious to keep switching! I wish Cilest could make a come back.