Explore trying to conceive experiences

One of my best friends has told me they’re pregnant after only being together for a short time which is very much a wonderful surprise! I am literally and genuinely so so SO happy for her but can’t help but feel so so so sad when we have been together 12 years and are now over 16 months trying properly, now being referred to the fertility clinic. Would appreciate any advice on juggling the pure happiness for your friend over the overwhelming sadness that your story isn’t working out the way you thought it would? 🩷

We started trying to conceive in January 2024. We fell pregnant for the first time in March 2024, so we were very lucky to have conceived quickly. We went for a private 6 week scan, to settle my nerves, and I was told I was measuring 5 weeks (but my timings worked out to 6.5 weeks). This should have been a warning sign, but instead I was dismissed that I probably got my conception dates wrong. At our next private scan 2 weeks later (8.5 weeks) I was told I was 6 weeks and we saw the heartbeat. I was then congratulated on my pregnancy, sent home with a goodie bag containing a bottle and nipple cream etc. I then went back for a scan at 10 weeks, having had 0 typical first trimester symptoms and told our baby had no heartbeat. I then miscarried naturally a week later, which was emotionally traumatic but thankfully less painful than I expected. I was internally scanned a few days later and told the miscarriage was complete. Fast forward a month into June and I had ovulated (tracking BBT, LH tests & CM). I was lucky to be 'returning to normal' at this point. At 8DPO I tested to discover 'positive tests'. I then had 2 blood tests ( 1 week apart) where my HCG was low, and getting lower. We classified this as a chemical pregnancy due to having had negative tests between miscarriage and first cycle, as well as having had my period. Fast forward another month to today (mid July 2024) and I'm again 10DPO with positive early tests and negative 'normal' tests. I am praying this baby sticks. If it doesn't, i'll have had 3 miscarriages in the space of 3 months. I also have a distrust in pregnancy tests now and a complete lack of excitement looking at them, I just feel blindsided by my body constantly and no idea whether I am 'pregnant' or not as I feel my body has let me down too many times in a short space of time. Products I love: Fertility friend (app) & Natural Cycles (app). I dislike Flo as it provides a false sense of positivity and false hope constantly. The forum is also bad for my mental health. LH tests bought from Amazon (green). They've been great to help me understand when I am ovulating.

When we first decided to start trying I was very naive to how hard it was to conceive. All the education I had had in school made it seem like getting pregnant would happen the moment you have unprotected sex. This was not my experience. It took 6 months for me to first fall pregnant and I was elated. When I first took the pregnancy test I was so happy but also unsure of what to do, did I need a doctors appointment who would support me. I called my GP surgery and they told me to refer myself to my local hospital. My local hospital then told me to wait until I was 12 weeks. Around weeks 7.5 I started spotting at work. I called an emergency helpline and was told it was fine and normal. Then at 8 weeks over a weekend the spotting turned to heavy bleeding. My husband took me to the hospital who did a scan and told me I would likely miscarry in the next few days and I could take paracetamol. The miscarriage would come that night and the pain both physically and emotionally was immense. My husband was on the phone to 111 trying to get support but again it was advised I stay at home and take paracetamol. The trauma of the miscarriage caused a huge impact on my mental health and my husbands as well. From then it took another 14 months for us to get a positive test. In this time I paid for private therapy and even private medical care to just have someone tell me I was "normal". I spent a lot on vitamins and stopped drinking. I felt very vulnerable. The support was not there, my GP brushed me off and told me to comeback in 2 years if I was still having problems. With this second pregnancy there was much less celebration. Because of missed scar tissue from the miscarriage I was advised to walk no more than 20 mins at a time and rest as much as possible until after 12 weeks. As someone who loves to exercise and walk this made things very hard. It felt like it could have been avoided with proper after care from my miscarriage. The rest of the pregnancy went well but there was very little to no support for emotional health.

We tried to conceive after we got married back in 2017. Every month that passed felt more and more stressful as friends all around us were getting pregnant. At one point 3 of my closest friends all got pregnant within 2 months of each other and although I was happy for them I was devastated at the same time and hated myself for feeling jealous, so I withdrew more and more from the friendships in the later stages of their pregnancy because I found it so hard and couldn’t stop thinking, but what about us and when is it our turn to be parents - I was so desperate to become a mother. I went to the doctors to get tests and they did the lap and dye test. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me, so wasn’t sure what they would find. I’ve always had crippling periods, but just through it was normal. The results came back I had endometriosis, ovarian cysts, my tube had grown in to the lining. They fixed it within the lap and dye operation and said I was good to go. Our doctor said he would give us the go ahead for funded IVF as we had tried for so long as it was effecting our relationship - trying each month and loving two weeks - to - two weeks, waiting for the fertility window, then the inevitable period making its appearance every month, was getting too much. We had to wait around 3 months to get started following the operation. In a he meantime, desperate to still get pregnant naturally, I used the Life and Lemons clinic in Sheffield because I had heard about their success in helping in fertility. I had a course of acupuncture, saw their dietician and had fertility massages. The great news, we were successful and I had a straightforward pregnancy, vaginal birth, no complications and was able to and am still breastfeeding. We have welcomed our now 8 month old, Teddy, to the world! He is a thriving, healthy, happy baby and we feel extremely lucky. We have two embryos on ‘ice’ so we are hoping to give him a sibling in the next few years.

Like lots of people, we didn’t have the easiest road to conception but I’m really happy to report we’re finally pregnant! The downs of the journey were big and isolating and lonely and I don’t think I’ve ever struggled more with my mental health than going through unexplained infertility. It puts a strain on pretty much every area of your life. A couple of things that I believe made a huge role in us getting pregnant: - Conceive + lubricant - A whole range of multivitamins for me and my partner - Letrozole (through assisted conception) - Cyclogest (progesterone) from day 3 after ovulation (again specifically requested through assisted conception due to endometriosis and symptoms of low progesterone) - Acupuncture (through NHS) I really recommend as much as you can getting to know every single aspect of your cycle and body and find a doctor who is really on your side.

After spotting in between periods when I was in my 20s I incidentally found a partial septum of my uterus (first misdiagnosed as a bicornuate uterus). I was worried this would be a problem when TTC, but luckily for me it was not, and 2 cycles later I had a positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately this ended in a 16 week miscarriage - uterine septums can cause a range of issues in pregnancy. In a follow up appointment with the gyno at hospital I was told to TTC again, but I had done my research and found a clinic who would operate on my septum. The NHS would only operate after 3 miscarriages. I had the surgery which was relatively simple. I was prescribed estrogen patches and progestrogone pessaries, and had 2 copper IUDs fitted for one month to help heal my uterus. This treatment is over and I am now back to TTC. The hormones/IUD have caused my cycles to drop from 26 days to 20 days, but hopefully they go back to normal soon. Hopefully I will have more success with the pregnancy this time around. There are so many positive stories for those who have septums (for those who need advice on this, there is a great support group on Facebook "Septate Uterus Support Group").

My story is not a good one unfortunately. At 36 my periods were quite irregular and went to a few doctors to figure it out, it normalised after a while but i kept spotting for days before i got my actual period which nobody could give me an amswer for. They saod its ok i shouldnt worry.. We started trying over a year ago and I went to the NHS and private doctors too to ask what I needed to do as I'm older - any tests or anything. They advised to try for a year and then seek help if nothing happens. I was 37 at this point and right when we started trying iI was told to hold on for 3 months due to Thyroiditis - I was worried as I was already 37 but they said it wont make andifference. I waited and after 3 months they still had to put me on Levithyroxine as my levels did not normalise. I wasted 3 months there. After these 3 months I started getting irregular periods - turned out I had an polyp in my uterus that had to be removed. I had to wait 4 months for this to be diagnosed and removed and even though we tried in the meantime chances are not great while you have a polyp. It was only at this point they checked my AMH which was below the normal range and I was advised to wait with IVF, and try naturally for 4/5 months and then if nothing happens look at IVF. So I did just that - we tried and did not concieve unfortunately. Then when IVF came around they tested my hormones again and its obscenely low. i'm now starting my first round but not via NHS as I'm not eligible for funding as my hormones are too low. I didnt even know this was a thing, nobody told me so this came as a shock. I would like women to know beeter especially when they start tryinf later in lofe what they can do, how they can understand hormone levels, FSH and AMH - if i had known I would have just had it tested when i was 36 and my body started changing but not ONE doctor thought to do that. I have a friend who 'luckily' had early menopause in her family and so she asked for the test and she found out in time so could freeze her eggs. I didn't and i couldnt and with my hormone results my chances are horrible. Speaking to certain clinics especially abroad they saod they would have sent me for IVF when they found out my AMH was low. I alwyas get a second opinion - what inlearnt here is to get 3 or 4 - ot is crazy to me how I followed doctors advice this whole time and i ended up here still. It's heartbreaking to think I won't be able to have a family because doctors just generalised me, thwy'd say ' oh you are healthy, everything LOOKS good, you dont need to worry' - and then oops! And all this could have been avoided with a simple blood test for AMH levels!!!!!! Why did they not tell me?! I would have paid for it I would have done it.

"I have received diagnoses of PCOS and Adenomyosis, and despite trying to conceive for eight years, doctors have rejected me for fertility treatments due to my BMI. Additionally, I have not had a period in over three years and have experienced significant weight gain, leading to feelings of depression and anxiety. It is disheartening to be informed that I am not eligible for IVF because I already have a child. I feel let down by the system. Last year, medical professionals initially believed there was an amniotic sac in my womb, but it turned out to be a cyst. After multiple negative tests and a lack of support from medical professionals, I have sadly given up on the possibility of having more children.

Trying to conceive for my second child has been mentally exhausting. I have been using the Flo app to track my ovulation days but after a few months we’ve had no luck. It was easy for us to get pregnant with my first so it’s been a guessing game as to why it’s not happening as quickly this time. I’ve recently purchased ovulation sticks as I am hoping they will be more accurate.

I started trying to conceive my second child in February 2021. We were successful the first month and I put that down to using an oil based lubricant. However, the second month whilst using a number of supplements including vitamin c, coq-enzyme and vitamin D we conceived in March 2021. However. I sadly had a miscarriage in April 2021. We tried again when my cycle came back and we were successful. The second time round I didn't use any supplements. Before the miscarriage I wasn't anxious, but just excited to be in a position to be "trying" as opposed to unexpectedly conceiving like we did with our first. Gave me a sense of control. But I soon realised I wasn't in control after the miscarriage and learnt to trust my body and God.