Safe sex: your questions answered

What is safe sex?

There is nothing wrong with having sex, as long as it is a consensual activity between two individuals. However, unsafe sexual relations can cause the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and HIV or prevent unwanted pregnancies. 

Safe sex practices are not just for those who engage in penetrative sex, but also for oral sex and kissing. No matter your background, sexual orientation, gender or relationship status, engaging in safe sex is beneficial. 

How to have safe sex

Having safe sex to prevent STI spread primarily involves using barrier contraception, such as condoms or femidoms (female condoms)¹. 

Contraception is another important part of safe sex to prevent unplanned pregnancy¹. Condoms or femidoms can also be used for this, with up to 98% efficacy if they’re used perfectly. Other non-hormonal contraception methods include intrauterine copper device (IUD) or cap/diaphragm. Hormonal contraception methods include combined contraception pill (COCP), progestogen-only pill (POP), implant, intrauterine system (IUS or hormonal coil), patch, injection, and vaginal ring. 

Each contraceptive has its own benefit for protection against pregnancy, however, may come with varying side effects. It is hard to know which type is right for you without some feedback from actual users. That’s where we come in. The Lowdown has a contraceptive review platform, where you can learn from real-life experiences from our community on how different contraception methods serve them. 

Used a contraception that you liked or hated, why not share your contraceptive experience while you’re at it? 

How to prevent STIs

There are over 30 different infections that can be spread through the various forms of sexual contact (vaginal, anal, or oral)².  In Scotland, STI infections have been doubling since 2017³ and according to the World Health Organization, 1 million people get an STI every single day!²

There are 2 ways to prevent the spread of STIs: through barrier contraception or STI testing. 

How to have sex with an STI

We do not recommend having sex with an STI. Most STIs are highly treatable with a short course of antibiotics so finish taking the course before having sex again. Even if you notice the symptoms clearing up, do not stop the antibiotics⁴. 

Why STI testing is important

According to the World Health Organization, it was estimated that 374 million new infections were recorded in 2020, 25% of which were either chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis or trichomoniasis⁵. 

STI testing is very important to stop the spread of STIs. In the UK, sexual health services and testing are free, along with the rest of healthcare. It is often easy to get a same-day appointment if you are worried about an STI or want to simply get tested. Many sexual health services also offer at-home testing, where you will receive a discrete kit in the mail⁶. 

Barrier method for sex

Condoms are the most effective way of reducing the spread of STIs through penetrative sex. Preventing contact between the surfaces between either your genitalia and their genitalia or your mouth and their genitalia will prevent the spread of infection¹. 

However, condoms do not offer full protection against ulcers on the surface of the genitals which can be present in syphilis or genital herpes. So it’s best to avoid sex until these have been treated or clear up.

Is it safe to have sex FAQs?

Is anal sex safe

Anal sex involves the insertion of an object or a penis into an individual’s anus. Both men and women alike might choose to have anal sex regardless of their sexual orientation. Anal sex is a risker type of sex due to the increased fragility of the anal skin, making it more vulnerable to infection¹. Anal sex has a higher rate of STI spread compared to other forms of sex. 

Men who have sex with men (MSM) have a higher risk of contracting HIV through anal sex. In 2014, the US found that 67% of HIV cases in MSM were passed on through anal sex⁷. 

In the UK, if you are a man who has sex with other men, you might be eligible for Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) medication to reduce your risk of contracting HIV⁸. Those who are having sex with an HIV-positive partner or are at risk of contracting HIV (like sex workers) are also eligible for PrEP. PrEP is a medication that is taken before sex and reduces the risk of transmission of HIV by around 75%⁹!

Is oral sex safe

Using your mouth to pleasure the vulva, vagina, penis or anus is regarded as oral sex. There is still a risk of getting an STI with oral sex. If there is a break in the skin inside your mouth, vagina, vulva, penis or anus, it can increase the chance of getting an infection¹. 

Oral herpes (also known as cold sores) can be spread to your partner’s genitals if you have an active cold sore while performing oral sex. Using a condom, femidom or dental dam barrier to the genitals can make oral sex safer¹. 

Is it safe to have sex while on period?

Medically, there is no reason not to have sex on your period. Orgasms while on your period have been shown to alleviate period cramps, but this can be also achieved through non-penetrative sex¹⁰.

Personally, it depends on how comfortable you and/or your partner are with it. Some people might not enjoy having sex on their period or their partner might not like it. There are some religions that do not allow sex while on period for different reasons. To each their own, do what works for you!

You can still get an STI or, rarely, pregnant if you have sex while on your period.  

Is it safe to have sex during implantation?

The jury is still out on this question. There is conflicting evidence from multiple studies showing having sex during implantation can either lower the chances of pregnancy or have no impact on fertilisation. 

A study in the Human Reproduction Journal in 2020 showed no relationship between sexual intercourse during implantation and pregnancy¹¹. However, a 2014 study found that having intercourse in the days around implantation significantly lowered the chances of getting a positive pregnancy test¹². So basically, we don’t know the answer yet until we have better research.

Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?

Having sex while pregnant won’t hurt the baby. The cervix acts as a barrier preventing anything that’s inserted during sex from touching the baby. Due to the hormonal changes during pregnancy, your libido could increase. Unless your doctor or midwife explicitly tells you to avoid sex during pregnancy, have fun mama¹³! 

However, ensure you practice safe sex while pregnant as you can still contract infections during pregnancy and these can pose risks to your unborn child. 

When is it safe to have sex after giving birth

Listen to your body. Giving birth is an incredible feat and you will no doubt be tired and sore. Do not feel pressured into having sex right away, do it when you feel ready to. There is no time-frame you need to follow.

If you have had a 3rd or 4th-degree tear during delivery, the general rule is to wait till the stitches have healed and you have stopped bleeding¹⁴. 

Is it safe to have sex daily?

If you’re in the mood why not. As long as the sex is consensual, it is completely up to you how many times you want to have sex. However, if these sexual encounters are with multiple partners, please consider using barrier contraception and regular STI testing. 

Safe sex without condom

Before having sex without a condom with a new partner, we recommend getting an STI test to make sure you and your partner are in the all-clear. 

Is it safe to have sex in water?

Avoid having sex in a public body of water such as a pool, lake, river or sea. The bacteria present can lead to infections. Having sex in a bathtub or shower is probably safer, but contrary to popular belief, water is not a great lubricant. 

Is it safe to have sex in a jacuzzi?

As we said above, water is not a favourable lubricant for penetrative sex. It can make sex uncomfortable as it increases friction. Depending on what they put in the jacuzzi water, at The Lowdown, we are concerned that the chemicals may even be harmful to the vaginal microbiome. 

Is it safe to have sex with a UTI

Medical advice generally recommends waiting until your UTI clears before having penetrative sex again. This is because having sex with a UTI can worsen the symptoms¹⁵. We have a dedicated article exploring this topic.